I just came out with one of my old bestfriends.

He said something that made me feel pretty bad.  He said, he and the others have been talking, and all their reactions were they wished I had came out to them before we drifted apart.

He also said he's always suspected something was up, because he felt it in the way I talk.  He's glad now that it's out of the way, he feels like we are talking normally again.  Then he proceeded to ask me some questions about being gay, how much anal sex we have, and why didn't I get together with another gay friend that came out to him recently.  I think I also regret not coming out to them earlier.  Now we are in different countries and cities.

It's funny and cute in a way, and reminded me of how much I am loved by those friends.  I am more and more confident about coming out trip to Taiwan now.

Every time I come out, I feel like my life is becoming more and more transparent.  I am removing more and more people I used to be close with from limited access to my facebook profile.  I blocked them at first because I had planned on coming out to them, instead of them finding out that way.  I feel some weight lifting from my shoulders.

I used to be so scared.  I thought being gay was the darkest secret I have in my life and if anyone found out my life would be over.
I distanced myself from people who loved me, and felt really guilty when I had to lie to cover up what I did on the weekends when I went to West Hollywood or when they asked me about my relationship.

I hope someone who is in the closet would find their way to my blog, and find out how it's not such a bad thing all the time when coming out to their friends.

Hopefully I'll have better things to report when I go back to Taiwan and come out to more people.

I am boarding tomorrow night.  Until then.

I am finally starting to pack and get ready for the trip!

Started to get excited until my mom asked me to ask six of my friends to buy wine and cigarette for her.
(I don't know why she thinks other people should do this for her)
I am willing to do it, my boyfriend is willing to do it, but I am not entirely comfortable asking others to do it for her.
I guess she'll just need to deal with this herself.

I will, however, still try to remain diplomatic when the time comes when I come out.

Happy holidays for those who reads this.

A friend stayed up late just so she could chat with me about what's happening with our group of friends.

I came out to her last week, and she told me she'll call my other best friend in that group and discuss how I am planning to come out to the rest when I go back and visit.
Things are happening in a good way, but my hands are still jittery as I am trying to take in what just transpired.

Since they moved back to Taiwan after finishing school in Toronto, it makes a bit more difficult to communicate with them.  So the girl talked to the guy friend for me.
He told her to tell me that don't worry, his view on me hasn't changed and he'll be fine sharing a bed with me if situation arised.

I think I should still feel lucky, but the andrenaline is preventing me from realizing how I am feeling.  All I know is that something incredible has happened because of two of the most important people in my life.

I think this actually exceeds the excitement from skydiving.